


Fatal Feelings

by saudade (bachiraluvs)



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Flower Talk, Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mentions of Blood, One-Sided Attraction, Sad ending?, ambiguous ending? idk u decide, im bad at tagging sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachiraluvs/pseuds/saudade
Summary: flowers bloomed in nagi’s lungs because he was in love. he loved a purple haired boy named reo. and while flowers are beautiful, nagi couldn’t breath.orthe reonagi hanahaki au no one asked for.
Relationships: Seishiro Nagi/Mikage Reo, isagi/nagi if u squint, mikage reo/nagi seishiro, reo mikage/nagi seishiro, reo/nagi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	Fatal Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning!! there are mentions of blood in this fic. 
> 
> hi!! this is the first ever fic i’ll be posting so i’m kinda very nervous. this fic is dedicated to daph (@cafenoya) for being the biggest reonagi stan i know and luciel (@SE1SHIRO) for helping me develop the plot. also big shoutout to sofia (@erenphobic) for giving me the idea to write a hanahaki au! 
> 
> pls enjoy this fic and leave comments and kudos thanks mwah!

“Have you scheduled the board meeting for next week?”

“Yes sir.”

“Confirmed my reservation for dinner with the executives tonight?”

“All done sir.”

“And is everything ready for the florist appointment tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’ve cleared your afternoon schedule and made sure ms. Aiko’s schedule is free as well, sir.”

There was a beat of silence between the two. Then Reo broke out into a wide smile, stretching his hands above his head. It was obvious the stress of Reo’s upcoming schedule was weighing on him. Nagi could see it clear as day. It was Nagi’s job to relieve even the tiniest bit off the others shoulders and by his smile, it seems he has done just that. That smile directed at him, it was enough to make Nagi's heart race. But he couldn’t acknowledge the butterflies in his stomach or the pounding of his heart in fear of /it/ happening again.

Honestly it was entirely too cliche, being in love with your boss. Nagi never thought he’d ever be in a situation like this. If you had told him two months ago he would end up head over heels for Reo Mikage, CEO in training for the Mikage corporation, Nagi would have probably laughed in your face. Nagi didn’t even expect to get the job for god's sake, he definitely wasn’t the most qualified to be the assistant to one of the most important up and coming CEOs yet here he was anyways. At first, Nagi expected Reo to be this stuck up rich boy who’d yell at him for even the smallest of mistakes, however, it ended up being the opposite.

Reo Mikage was the kindest boss Nagi has ever had. If Nagi made a mistake, Reo calmly explained what was wrong and taught him the right way to do it. He told him, “I’m learning how to be a good CEO and you're learning to be a good assistant, if we learn together it’s more fun right?” At that moment, the seeds in his lungs were planted without his knowing.

Those seeds slowly started to bloom with every smile directed his way, every brush of their hands as they walked side by side down the hall, every long night spent together working where Reo would fall asleep on his lap or shoulder. There was a moment, when Nagi thought his feelings would be reciprocated. Nagi would catch Reo staring at him with his intense purple eyes. Reo would talk to Nagi in a soft, friendly voice unlike the hard, demanding one he used with others. The unspoken tension between them anytime they were alone. It gave Nagi so much hope that maybe, just maybe, Reo actually returned his feelings.

Then the world came crashing down.

The flower petals in his lungs began to fall one late work night. It was two weeks ago, Reo had his first solo presentation for the company’s board of directors. Nagi has stayed behind to help him finish any last minute details and watch the presentation over for any mistakes. By the time they were done it was three in the morning and they were both too exhausted to move. Nagi was sitting facing the couch in Reo’s office while the boy with purple hair laid down on top of it. Nagi admired the other's face, a soft smile on his lips. There was a comforting silence between them, a kind of silence Nagi loved. It meant that they were alone. When they were alone Reo stopped being the scary son of the CEO preparing to take over the company. When they were alone Reo was just another young man trying to find his place in the world. Nagi thought he was infinitely more beautiful like this.

“I’m getting engaged.”

The silence broke with those words along with Nagi’s heart. “W-What did you just say?” Nagi managed to stutter out, his eyes trained on Reo's face. The other was laying down on the couch with his eyes closed, face scrunched. Reo then slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position and opened his eyes, immediately locking them onto Nagi’s. “I’m getting engaged. It’s arranged of course, by my father. She's the daughter of a hotel tycoon and the marriage will help the business expand. Her name is Suzume Aiko.” Was Reo’s answer, his eyes never left Nagi’s as if he was searching for something. But Nagi felt like he couldn’t breath.

“I’ve got to go.” Is all the blond boy said, abruptly getting up and turning to walk out. His chest felt like it was tightening, his eyes burned with tears he refused to let fall, and his lungs felt like they were slowly filling up. He was stumbling his way to the door, he had to get out of the room, get away from Reo. But a hand gripped his arm and his body was turned to face the smaller boy.

“Nagi what’s wrong?” Reo asked, concern written all over his face. However the words barely even registered for Nagi. Instead Nagi pushed Reo off him and took a step back, “I've got to go.” With that the blond turned and scurried out of the room, leaving an incredibly confused Reo behind.

When Nagi eventually made it into the elevator there was a second of silence, and then he began to cough. It was a violent cough, so bad he had to drop to his knees in pain. When the coughing subsided Nagi pulled the hands he had covered his mouth with and saw something horrific. There was blood on his hands along with the golden yellow petals of a flower.

—

Hanahaki disease. a rare medical disorder that causes flowers to grow in a person's lungs due to unrequited love. Not much is known about the disease but it can be removed with a surgery, however if the surgery is performed then the love that person once had will be gone forever.

Nagi remembers hearing stories about it, but he never thought he’d be one of the people to have it. The doctor had told him if he could link the source of the feelings it would make it easier to manage. Nagi didn’t even need a second to think about it, he already knew. The doctor also said that Nagi needed to limit the amount of time he saw the person who the feelings were for, if he didn’t it would only get worse. But how was Nagi supposed to avoid Reo? Being away from Reo already caused him enough pain and now this? Was love supposed to hurt this badly?

“Not many like this but surgery is always an option. That is, if over time your symptoms get worse with no sign of improvement you will have to get it to avoid death.” That’s what the doctor said right before Nagi left.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Reo told him about the engagement and two weeks since Nagi saw the doctor. He still didn’t know how to feel about the surgery. Nagi wasn’t truly sure if he could go through with something like that? Sure, Reo was out of his grasp, especially now, but Nagi loved him. Nagi had never loved anyone like he loved Reo. It may hurt, but it hurt in the best way. Nagi isn't sure he can give that up just yet.

But it’s hard.

It's hard because it’s Nagi’s job to schedule Reo’s dates with his new fiancé. It’s hard when Reo gushes about how well they get along after those dates. It’s hard because Reo still gives Nagi that smile, the smile no one else gets to see, even Aiko.

“I'm so glad I have you Nagi,” Reo had said just yesterday, “I don’t think anyone gets me quite like you do. if I had to have someone be by my side forever, I would hope it was you.” Those words made Nagi’s cheeks flush a bright red and his chest thunder. That is, until Reo told him he had to head out to meet Aiko for an unofficial date. Then Nagi ended up coughing over the toilet seat in the stalls of the company bathroom. Clumps of yellow petals stuck together with blood fell out of his lips for ten minutes. His worst fit yet. Everything got worse as the wedding drew near. Nagi felt weak almost every single day, he was paler, skinnier, constantly tired, and his coughing fits happened way more often. Yet Nagi still got himself up and exited the bathroom like nothing happened.

Nagi had to be strong. He still had loads of work to do. Tonight he would attend the company dinner with Reo, tomorrow they would go to the florist to pick flowers for the wedding, and then in a week and a half, it would be wedding day. It seems like everything was happening so fast but that’s because Reo and Aiko’s parents wanted the marriage to happen as quickly as possible. That way the merger between companies could happen as soon as possible. Just thinking about it made Nagi want to cough again, but he pushed it out of his head.

“Are you ready to go Nagi?” Reo asked, his jacket already on and he stood near the door waiting. Nagi shakes himself out of his gaze and offers Reo the smallest of smiles,

“Yes sir.”

“I told you to call me Reo!”

“Sorry sir.”

“Hey!”

—

Nagi stood outside the florist in dark jeans and a simple white t-shirt, hands shoved deep into his pockets. His dark brown eyes scanned the outside of the building labelled ‘24 Hour Flowers’. It was a simple shop, yet it was famous for its beautiful flower designs used in many different events. Most rich people used this shop for all their grand parties or in this case, weddings.

Nagi did not want to be here. Ever since he started coughing up flower petals, he hasn’t really been able to look at any flowers fondly. But Reo had asked him personally to come pick out the flowers. How could he say no to that? So here he stood, waiting for the purple haired boy to show up. In all honesty, this was probably the worst thing Nagi could be doing. He was supposed to be avoiding Reo, only seeing him if necessary. But he was weak, weak to the way Reo said his name, weak to the way Reo smiled. He just couldn’t say no to him and it was completely unhealthy. Nagi was completely lost in thought when he heard someone call out his name. He thought it was Reo, but when he looked up it was someone completely different.There was a man peeking his head outside the flower shop's door to look at him. He had dark black hair and familiar deep blue eyes. Nagi thought he knew him from somewhere, but he couldn’t quite place where he had seen the other’s face.

“That is you right? Nagi Seishiro?” The mystery man said, a small smile on his face. Nagi could only nod, still trying to figure out where he knew this person from. Then the other burst into a real smile and fully came out of the shop. “You must not remember me, I’m Isagi, Isagi Yoichi. We played on the same soccer team in college remember?” Once Nagi heard the name, all the memories came flooding back. When Nagi was in college he played on a soccer team for fun. On said team he met Isagi Yoichi, the two did not attend the same school so they only saw each other during soccer but they got along great. They would often go out to eat after their team’s games or practices. However when Nagi graduated and left the team, the two fell out of touch. Who would have thought they would see each other again here, at a high end flower shop.

“Damn, it’s been a while Isagi.” Nagi ended up saying, “What are you doing here though? Last I checked you were majoring in sports management not flowers.” The dark haired boy just laughed, Nagi thought it sounded pretty. “My cousin owns the place, I’m just here helping out. At first it kinda sucked but I got to see you again so now I’m thinking it isn’t all that bad.” Isagi responded with the slightest of smirks on his face as he leaned against the door. Nagi could feel his cheeks heating up. Was he… flirting with him? No. No that would be crazy. Right?

“So what brings you to this humble little flower shop?” The other asks. Just as Nagi opens his mouth to respond he hears it, “Hey Nagi! Sorry I’m late the meeting ran extra long and- who’s this?” Reo had thrown his arm around Nagi’s shoulder as he approached. He could see the other staring down Isagi, for a split second Nagi thought he was jealous. But that was just wishful thinking. “Reo, this is my college friend Isagi. Isagi, my boss, Reo. As for why we are here, I’m helping him pick out flowers for his wedding.” The air surrounding the three seemed somewhat hostile. Nagi really didn’t understand why but he tried to just ignore it. Instead, he removed Reo’s arm from his shoulder in fear of another coughing fit to happen and took a step closer to where Isagi stood. “Let’s not waste any time then, let’s pick out some flowers!” Nagi said, looking between the two. Reo just straightened up and fixed his jacket brushing by Nagi and bumping Isagi out of his way, “Yeah. Let’s.”

The three boys made their way inside the shop. It was bursting with color from all the different kinds of flowers. Nagi looked around in awe. Bright blues, dark purples, pretty pinks, all the different colors lit the room up like a rainbow. But one specific batch of flowers caught his eye. A bunch of yellow flowers in the corner of the shop, almost beckoning to him. The yellow petals that were all too familiar to Nagi. He broke away from the other two to go inspect them. They were pretty, when not covered in blood, But seeing them like this made Nagi want to cry. They were a constant reminder of his own feelings, his shame. He was about to walk away when he felt a presence near him. He turned his head only to see Isagi standing next to him. The blue eyed boy reaches out a hand to touch the yellow petals, “Narcissus flowers. They represent selfishness and unrequited love. They were named after the greek myth of Narcissus and Echo. Echo loved Narcissus but he only loved himself. He never gave her the time of day. He ended up dying because he wouldn’t stop looking at his reflection in the water. In her grief, Echo turned him into a flower.” It made sense now, why those were the flowers that spilled from his lips. His love was unrequited and he was selfish. Selfish for loving an engaged man, selfish for continuing to see him for his own sick pleasure. Nagi wanted to throw up. But then he saw the smile on Isagi’s face. It was hiding the same pain Nagi knew too well.

“I’m sure Echo found real love. In the moment, it must have hurt a tremendous amount. But I bet she ended up okay in the end.” Nagi blurted out. He meant to comfort Isagi, give him some solace through whatever it was that made him sad. It was just a bit ironic though, as Nagi couldn’t even move on himself. It was alright though because the smile Isagi gave him was worth it.

“You seem to know a lot about flowers.” Nagi said in an attempt to change the subject. Isagi just shrugged his shoulders, “I help out a lot here, so I guess I picked up a few things.” As the two continued to talk they were interrupted by Reo, “Excuse me but, I really can’t waste anymore time here. I’m a busy man so if you could actually help me that’d be great.” Both boys were taken aback by how annoyed Reo sounded. Nagi didn’t understand what had him so angry when he seemed fine just a few minutes ago. But he didn’t say a word. He just followed along behind Isagi and Reo as they discussed different flower combinations and options.

“How about these?” Reo questions, gesturing to the batch of purple flowers next to him. “Hmm, those are zephyranthes and they're pretty but I’m not entirely sure how good they would be for a wedding. They symbolize atoning for sins and loving someone back. How about… these!” Isagi picks up a bouquet of pretty white flowers, “These are orange blossoms and they symbolize eternal love. Perfect for a wedding especially when paired with lilies.” Reo takes a second to contemplate and then nods. Then the two got into a discussion about details and when they could meet next. However as they talked Nagi felt his head start to spin. Everything around him was going blurry and he felt as if there was a thousand pound of pressure being put on him. He felt the flowers and the blood pushing its way up and he ran. He ignored the two boys calling after him and ran. There was no way in hell he was letting anyone, especially Reo, see him like that.

Nagi ended up in some alley, loud coughs echoing against the walls. The yellow narcissus flowers spilling from his lips in agony. He had no idea how long he coughed or if anyone had seen him. But by the time it was over blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and a pile of petals laid at his feet. Nagi let his back hit the wall and put his face between his knees. He took deep breaths trying to calm himself down. But he felt pathetic. He let his stupid little crush spiral out of control to the point of what felt like no return. He couldn’t even get up because he felt so weak, then his phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Oh my god Nagi are you okay? You just ran out of the shop with no explanation!”

“I’m fine Reo don’t worry. I’ve been sick these past couple days and needed to get home.”

“Are you sure? I could come over? I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be. Now I have to go. Bye.”

—

Saturday night.

The night before the wedding. Nagi had taken the day off from work today. He told Reo he needed a day to himself when in reality it was because he couldn’t stop coughing up flowers. He kept having fits every two hours it felt like. It was getting worse and even spending time away from Reo wasn’t working. Nothing was working. Nagi felt so awful he could die. Except that wasn’t really an option for him. He had to make it through this wedding, if he made it through the wedding, maybe it would go away. He told himself he would give up his feelings after the wedding and if he did that maybe the flowers in his lungs would die.

Right now, Nagi was bed ridden. His last fit was twenty minutes ago. Who knows when the next one would hit but for now he would enjoy the show he was watching. Isagi recommended it to him a few days ago. Ever since meeting again at the flower shop, the two decided to keep in touch. Nagi sought him out after the incident that took place. They chatted for a bit and both eagerly decided to keep in contact. Isagi was a breath of fresh air for Nagi. The two of them got along great due to their many shared interests.

Sometimes Nagi feels like he could fall in love with Isagi. Then Reo calls out his name with those pretty purple eyes and Nagi just falls for him harder. It was a painful cycle. Tonight though, tonight would be a night all for himself. He would cry, get through his fits as fast as possible, and relish in his loneliness. At least, that’s what he planned on doing.

Then Nagi heard a knock on his door.

‘Who the hell is knocking on my door at eleven at night?’ He thought, slowly pushing himself to his feet. He really didn’t want to deal with anything tonight, he was exhausted and sad and just wanted to get through the next two days. It seemed fate had other plans for him though. When Nagi opens the door he is surprised to see the all too familiar head of purple hair behind it.

“Reo?” He questions, stepping back. Why was Reo here? And why did he look so upset? Did something happen between him and his father or between him and Aiko? Nagi’s brain was rushing with ideas of what caused the other to show up unannounced. Then his mind went blank, because after a second of silence between them, he felt lips on his own.

Reo was kissing him.

At first, Nagi just stood there frozen. He was too in shock to react. But when Reo places his hands on his cheeks to draw him in closer, Nagi let himself go. Screw it with logic right now, Nagi had waited for this for months. This was all he’s ever wanted. He didn’t care about the flowers stuck in his throat right now. He didn’t care about the impending wedding. All he cared about was Reo.

Nagi let his hands get lost in Reo’s hair as he returned the kiss. He poured every tear he’s cried, every flower that left his lips, every emotion he’s ever felt for the other boy into this kiss because right now, Nagi felt loved. Nagi had never felt so loved in his entire life. Reo kisses Nagi like he loved him and Nagi wanted to believe it was true. That all the pain he went through was made up in this one moment.

The moment was perfect, until it wasn’t.

When Reo broke the kiss, their eyes locked. Nagi didn’t know how long it lasted, but his breath was labored. As he looked into the eyes he fell in love with he realized something. Reo didn’t look like he was in love, he looked scared. The hands that warmed his cheeks dropped and the other boy started taking staggering steps back. There was a horrific look in his eyes, as if he realized what exactly he had done. As if kissing Nagi was some sort of crime. At that point, something inside Nagi broke.

“Get the fuck out.” His voice was like steel, as he stared down Reo. Nagi had given so much of himself to this boy and this was how he treated him. Giving him a semblance of hope and then tearing it away. Nagi was done. He was done putting Reo before himself. He was done with this stupid game of love.

For a moment, Reo was silent. He brought a hand up, as if he was going to reach out to Nagi. As if he was going to apologize. But instead he dropped it, letting it fall to his side. “This was a mistake. Forget it happened.” Reo spoke coldly. Everything was cold now. The purple haired boy gave Nagi one last look before turning and exiting the apartment. When the door closed Nagi was left in complete silence. The only sound was the buzzing of his tv from the other room.

Then he felt it, the flowers building inside his lungs. He didn’t even try to go to the bathroom, instead he let himself collapse. A chorus of sobs and coughs echoed the empty house. Blood, flowers, and tears mixed into a heartbroken concoction on the floor as Nagi let out all his emotions. His heart felt like it was split open, as if Reo walked in, destroyed it and left laughing. It felt like the whole world was crashing down around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Nagi wanted it to end, wanted to make the pain go away, for good. So he waited, he waited until the tears dried, the flowers stopped falling, and the blood stopped dripping. With the last of his strength, he stood up and made his way into his room. He grabbed his phone and dialed the number of the person he knew could fix this, fix him.

“Hi doctor, I know it’s late but I would like to schedule a date for the surgery. As soon as possible if you could, it’s getting bad.”

“Of course son, how about in two days? I have an opening at three in the afternoon, does that work?”

“Perfect thank you.”

—

Now, Nagi had not planned to go to the wedding after the events of last night. He woke up to another fit of coughs and the pain in his heart still stung like a bitch. But there was a small part of him, a voice in the back of his, that begged for closure. So Nagi got up, put on his best suit, and said ‘fuck it’. He sat down at his desk and poured his heart out on paper. He told Reo everything, from how he felt to why he was getting his surgery. This was his final goodbye to the love of his life.

It was too late to make the ceremony. Which was fine with him, Nagi probably wouldn’t have been able to make it through the vows without coughing anyways. It was best if Reo didn’t even see him. The problems that would cause both of them were too much for Nagi to handle. Even if Nagi wanted to hate his guts for what he did, he couldn’t stop caring for him.

When he finally found himself at the reception building, he took a deep breath. This was it, his final goodbye. It was the most bittersweet moment of Nagi’s life. His hand shook from his nerves but he still pushed forward, he had to do this. He walked through the doors and up the stairs taking deep breaths to calm himself. So what, it was just the wedding for the man he loved, the man who kissed him just last night, who kissed another just a few hours ago. Nagi’s throat burned but he refused to let it take over.

Once he stepped inside the venue he was assaulted by all the sights and sounds. Loud music blasted a song for dancing, the light from the chandelier bounced off the crystalline glasses holding all the champagne, and hundreds of people in beautiful suits and dresses surrounded him. Nagi almost wanted to laugh, everything was so grand and lovely, this was a true rich people’s wedding. He was incredibly out of place with his basic blue suit that he bought two years ago from a local store. It reminded once again, he would never fit in with Reo or his lifestyle. It was silly to think he would ever belong at his side.

As he floated through the crowd he kept an eye out for the purple haired boy. It wasn’t until the song switched to a soft slow tune that he finally saw him. In the middle of the dance floor, holding his now wife by her waist as they danced and a smile on his face. A smile that made everyone believe they were in love. Nagi didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry.

“They make a pretty couple don’t they?” A voice infiltrated his thought. He turned to see a slightly older woman standing next to him. Nagi had no idea who she was, but decided to entertain the conversation anyways. “Yeah, I’d say so.” He responded trying to hold back the disdain in his voice. The lady just gave him a look before saying, “Well I’d hope so, that’s my daughter, the bride.” Nagi almost gasped. The bride's mother? He wanted to ask why he made his daughter marry some stranger, why she couldn’t have just left Reo alone, left Reo for him. But that was crazy and it wasn’t why he was here.

“Well she sure is beautiful, I’m sure they will be very happy together.” That’s what he said instead, eyes still on the pair dancing. They really did look like the picture perfect couple, the kinds you rooted for in movies. “Well I know you aren’t here for my daughter, I’d recognize if that was the case. So who are you to the groom?” The woman asked, a judgmental look on her face. But Nagi just smiled, he finally tore his eyes away from the pair, a silent goodbye playing in his head. “No one.” He replied before walking away. Before he left the venue he slipped his letter into the coat that hung off of Reo’s chair.

When Nagi finally got back home, he didn’t cry. He didn’t cough, he just smiled. He felt a type of freedom he has never felt before. Maybe goodbyes weren’t so bad. He was left in silence until his phone began to ring.

“Nagi hey! This is kind of out of the blue but do you wanna hang out? I got this cool new video game and wanted to see if you wanted to play with me!”

“Sounds like fun Isagi, why don’t you come over?”

“Okay!”

—

It was finally surgery day. Nagi sat in a hospital bed, surrounded by white walls, waiting for his doctor and surgeon to come in and help him get ready. He was incredibly nervous and yet also, excited. This surgery would open up a new chapter for his life. A chapter without painful love, a chapter without Reo.

He leaned back in the bed playing some stupid game on his phone when the door open. He looked up expecting the doctor, but who he saw brought a smile to his face. There in the doorway, stood Isagi, the dark haired boy who had been Nagi’s saving grace recently. Isagi wore a white t-shirt with a long beige coat over it and light blue jeans. Even in casual clothes he looked handsome. Nagi put his phone away as the other shuffled towards him.

“Hey I’m not late am I? I stopped to get some stuff for after to make you more comfortable.” Isagi said sitting in the chair next to his bed. Nagi just shook his head, Isagi was too kind. “You're not late don’t worry. In fact, you’re right on time.” He replied with a fond smile on his face. Isagi let out a breath of relief.

There was a moment of silence between them, then Isagi tentatively reached a hand out to Nagi’s. His cheeks were a rosy red. “I’m… I’m glad I can be here, with you, for you. Thanks for trusting me.” The blue eyed boy confessed. Nagi felt his eyes widen in shock. Not the bad kind though, purely the good kind. His fond smile grew bigger. Nagi took Isagi’s hand and intertwined it with his own. Leaning forward he touched Isagi’s forehead with his own.

“I’m glad you’re here with me too.”

Who knew what this surgery would bring Nagi. All he knew, was that with Isagi’s hand in his own, everything might actually end up okay.

—

_To Reo,_

_I’m writing you this letter to finally expose my true feelings. Maybe it’s selfish of me to dump this on you right after you got married. But after this I probably won’t ever see you again because this doubles as both a confession letter and a resignation letter. So really it’s more for me then you._

_I’m in love with you._

_I’ve been in love with you from the day I met you. I fell in love with the way you laughed so hard no noise would come out. I fell in love with the faces you would_ _make at board members when you thought no one was looking because I was, I was always staring at you. I fell in love with the way you constantly complained about work but still got it done to the best of your ability because that’s just the type of person you are. I fell in love with your smile, your voice, your desire to do well for not only you but everyone around you. I fell in love with you, Reo._

_But love isn’t always a good thing, it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. My love for you was painful. I developed a disease, one that makes flowers grow in your lungs until you cough up petals and blood. I wonder if you’ve heard of it, but you're so smart you probably already know what I'm talking about. Hanahaki disease, I developed that as a response to my one-sided love._

_I honestly planned to do nothing with it, I was going to give up on my feelings in hopes it would gradually fade away. You were getting married, you would never love me, I thought that was enough to end the whole thing. But then you came over to my house and you kissed me like you loved my back._

_It was exhilarating, intoxicating, and I wanted more. I thought that maybe this was it, but then you gave me that look. You looked, disgusted. I didn’t know if it was because of me or you but it doesn’t matter. I never wanted to be looked at that way again by someone I loved. So that night I decided, I would get the surgery._

_I promise by the time you read this, you’ll be too late to stop me. But I thought it only best to tell you, it wouldn’t feel right if you didn’t know. My feelings for you will never burden you again, this will make sure of that. But I still wanted to thank you._

_You taught me what love really was. You smiled at me when no one else would, You gave me so much joy and for that, I’ll always be grateful. Thank you for letting me love you. Now this is goodbye._

_Yours,_

_Nagi._

—

Outside Nagi Seishiro’s hospital room stood a man with messy purple hair. He had tear stains on his cheeks and a piece of paper gripped between his fingers. His name was Reo Mikage.

Reo had come to try and stop the boy he loved from going through with the surgery. He had come to finally confess what he had held back for so long. But instead he saw the blond boy that held his heart holding the hand of someone else.

It was over.

So he walked away. Until he started to cough. He covered his mouth with his hands and when he pulled them away, traces of blood and the purple petals of a zephyranthes flower were laid bare on his hands.

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it just far i just wanted to say that ily. thank you so so much for reading i hope you enjoyed. maybe if enough people like this story i’ll write a second chapter in reo’s pov who knows? 
> 
> also!! in case the flowers didn’t make sense, reo coughs up zephyranthes because it represents the fact that he loves nagi back and must atone for his sin of never confessing and leading him on. 
> 
> once again thank you! and if you want to see more of my au ideas and writing follow my twitter @bachiraluvs


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